Conspiracy theory collapses before end of injury time

A conspiracy theory alleging rabid anti-Irishness among Dundee’s stewarding community was discredited before referee Bobby Madden blew the full time whistle at Dens Park on Sunday.

Sky Sports viewers watched on as a Celtic supporter jumped an 8-foot drop to chase after a tricolour that stewards had pulled down seconds before.

The Celtic twitterati were quick to dismiss Dundee MD John Nelms’ claim that the flag was removed for obscuring an advertising board paid for by one of the club’s sponsors and posted images of a Rangers banner draped over the same spot earlier this season.

This appeared to be incontrovertible evidence of high-level collusion before further footage showed the offending Rangers flag was in fact removed minutes after the original picture was taken.

In all, the theory lasted almost as long as the injury time referee Madden added on at the end of Sunday’s game.

Choosing to ignore the fact other Irish flags were clearly on display at Dens Park without causing controversy, blogger and professional grievance merchant Martin Moore hit out at all involved, saying, ‘Normally I just analyse Sevco’s finances in forensic detail but I was inspired to write about this blatant anti-Irish racism. It was no coincidence that it happened on St Patrick’s Day.

‘Nelms says this was only done because the flag was obscuring an advertising board but he would say that because he’s from Texas and they have the KKK there.’

Professor Glen Dingies, of the Institute for Futba Studies, said, ‘There is a clear causal link between paranoia and supporting the Old Firm. Everyone knows the stewards at Dens are heavy-handed but, quite frankly, Ayr United and Falkirk fans are treated by them worse than Celtic or Rangers’ ever will.

‘With respect to the injury time played, it is highly unusual to see Celtic supporters back a referee rather than claiming a Masonic conspiracy against them. It’s almost as if they just see and hear what they want.’