One-time serious journalist turned laughable Ibrox propagandist James Traynor has spoken of his joy after winning an historic wager that he couldn’t get the obscure word ‘concomitant’ into the news.
Shortly after joining the Glasgow Herald in the early 1980s, Traynor and a fellow football reporter began an escalating series of bets over little-known terms they would attempt to sneak past their editor.
‘Crepuscular’, ‘chiasma’, ‘panglossian’ and ‘zugzwang’ all made it into the sports pages before Traynor’s colleague upped the ante by daring the future Rangers PR chief to include concomitant in his copy.
The game appeared to grind to a halt thereafter, only for Traynor to use the occasion of Rangers’ latest humiliation as the opportunity to play his trump card decades after the bet was placed.
He wins a bottle of Holsten Pils for his accomplishment, as per the original terms laid out 35 years ago.
“A lot of people thought I had slid further and further into self-parody over the years but really I was biding my time,” said Traynor yesterday.
“All those verbose, bitter and petty statements I was crafting were building up to this moment.
“Concomitant! In my darker moments even I was doubting this day would come but here we are.
“Holsten Pils was a faux-German brew drunk by young middle-class men trying desperately look cool in the 1980s.
“I’ll probably tan the bottle then write a statement about how positively Brobdingnagian Rangers are. I become a terrible blatherskite on the Pils.”
Traynor added that the golden days of sports writers and using their relatively high-profile positions to embark on japes in full public view were now at an end.
“Dougie Donnelly ruined it for everybody,” he said ruefully.
“I mean, DD spent days tweeting low-quality Arabic porn then half-heartedly blamed it on hackers – how do you top that?
“I have it on good authority Dougie took £20 off Hugh Keevins for that one.”